Two brochures arrived simultaneously from two Indian restaurants located at the same address. One had decent copy editing. The other didn’t. Its earnest, well-intentioned descriptions are notable for their erraticness; I have no idea why a “Chicken Tikka Omelette” requires elaboration (“Chicken tikka comes with omelette”), while other, more vague, items, such as “Soup” do not.

Much of the shoddy grammar and phrasing quirks I forgive. This isn’t the work of a native English speaker who grew up unable to communicate effectively in his or her native tongue, but that of someone for whom English is a second language. The overuse of “succulent” I blame on indoctrination into the overdone world of food adjectives in lieu of actual description.

Typos are a different kettle of fish, so to speak, even when their intended spelling is obvious. Thus we have spent multiple moments in the last day talking about seabusses.

The seabuss is “stuffed with fragrant fresh herbs, and gently steamed toabsorb [sic] the fragrance of the herbs”. I suppose that means they don’t often take aboard non-herb passengers, there being no space for them. Perhaps schools of seabusses steam themselves over deep sea volcanic vents for spa-like refreshment. Perhaps they go to the garage at the end of the day for a tune-up.

In any event, seabusses sound like they’d be too large for my plate, even if they do only cost £12.95.

*© S. Worthen 2009